Wednesday, December 08, 2004
 

I Can't Stop This Feeling

Do you ever just know that you're not going to sleep? That insomnia is going to be your non-slumber party buddy, know it before you even go to bed? I'm hooked on a feeling that I'm not gonna sleep tonight.

And I have that song stuck in my head.

I've listened to Nick Cave (I'm beginning to think that there's a law requiring depressed persons-- or it may be depressed females; this demands further study, probably by the NIMH-- to listen to Nick Cave obsessively) and had "Just One of Those Things" whistled at me, but that about covers it for today's listening enjoyment. Not sure how Blue Swede snuck in there.

Why do I know that Blue Swede sang that?

I could have mastered ancient history or memorized poetry, but nooooo, brain space must be devoted to minor 70s bands.

Speaking of things I could have been doing, I could grade papers. And yet every fiber of my being screeches no at the top of each and every fibery set of lungs.

I. Hate. Grading.

Between Thanksgiving and The Virus from Hell, I'd missed two weeks of class. Wanna talk about a breath of fresh air? Getting back up and getting back into the performance groove necessary to teach was unpleasant, to say the least. It reminded me of how much teaching itself, as a practice, involves switching gears and playing a completely different, outside-yourself role. Shapeshifting.

Not that I wouldn't like to be out of myself right now, but the teaching persona doesn't feel like me and never has.

I think I need a career counselor. Or a medication increase.

Insomnia time.

Reading: still Zodiac
Listening: oooga chaka oooga chaka IIIIII-I'm hooked on a feelin'
Current Obsession: the usual existential depression. with the bonus for me that it's existential in the philosophical sense as well, meaning it's even more depressing. I'd probably be reading Sartre if it weren't for the fact that, ha ha, I can't read anything that doesn't involve a body count.
Alice: is my sunshine, my only sunshine.

Elvisette philosophized at 12:15 AM