Sunday, June 08, 2003
 

Okay.

Whoever pulled the fire alarm at 2 AM last night, guess where you can go? Attention dipwad: This is not a college dorm. Most people are actually asleep at 2 AM. There are parents with small children in this building. There are countless heart, cancer, kidney, etc. patients from the medical center who stay here. Dragging them all out at 2 AM is not cool.

People are jerks. This means you.

I had taken Ambien (full pill) an hour and a half before the alarm. The pill doesn't put me to sleep, but it does make me groggy after about an hour. I'd also been lying down for an hour at that point. My blood pressure is naturally low, and it gets even lower, of course, when I lie down. So, when a groggy, drugged-up, light-headed Elvisette gets dragged out of bed at 2 AM, she is not happy. I almost fell several times as I tried to go down the stairs. I spoke briefly to the chemo patient (in protective garb, considering his lowered immune response that, among other things, makes it not cool to drag him outside at 2 AM) who lives down the hall, then stumbled to the concrete steps in front of the building, crashed down, and plopped my head in my hands. I stayed that way for the next hour, until the police got the alarm off. At least it didn't take as long as usual this time. I was harassed by two random drunks (I have no idea if they were apartment residents or not) until a police officer scared them off. Me being harassed by drunks at 2 AM is not cool. It was likewise not cool to make the elderly couple haul dialysis equipment out with them. It was not cool to wake up the single father with the two little girls. Not cool to make all those heart patients take the stairs down because they couldn't use the elevator.

I was so mad that I could have grabbed a Uzi and gone to town.

I don't remember re-entering my apartment. All I know is that I woke up in the clothes I put on to go outside. I removed my sleep shorts to change into jeans, and now I must ask that question asked by Greeks everywhere: Where are my pants? Seriously, I can't find the shorts. I remember changing last night before going out, but I can't find the clothes I took off.

In other news, there are 43 stairs between my apartment and my car. I weighed a random sampling of book boxes, and they seem to weigh between 15-20 lbs apiece. The Deer Park Water bottle flats (former property of The Fox, She Who Will Not Drink Municipal Water), have endured many book moves and remain intact. I don't have enough of them, though, so I empty the boxes at the new place and bring them back here.

On the plus side, all these trips up and down the stairs should make me awfully buff.

Elvisette philosophized at 10:56 PM