Saturday, January 28, 2006
 

Eh . . .

Since this listing (and hence this link) won't last forever, I'm going to cut-and-paste the eBay seller's description of this item:

JESUS SAVED YOU!!!

NOW YOU CAN SAVE JESUS!!!

This is an Auction to save Jesus from being burned on a block of wood.

I don't want to do it but I need the money and I am desperate. I borrowed a ton of money and put all the money I was supposed to use for school this term towards my new business, Sandy eBay Sales.

So the other day I saw Jesus on the wall and I swear to God, He told me that if I put this on eBay, I would see the true power of the Lord. I'm not sure what that meant but I am not kidding.

WARNING!!!I will burn Jesus if my reserve is not met.WARNING!!!

Now I am sure that He would not find it funny if I did burn this, but I don't think you will let that happen. Then again He just may find this funny. I swear to Him that if this works, I may just become a Believer again!

Please don’t think I have anything against Jesus, he just makes a great hostage.

My personal reserve price to save Jesus is the following conditions: 1. All of my student loans repaid in full. 2. All of the start-up costs associated with my business. 3 A Jesus finder’s fee of $6.66, unless you don't like that number, then the finder's fee is 999.99.

I will supply the winning bidder with a bag of burnt ashes and a photo of the act, unless the reserve is met, then the winning bidder can choose weather Jesus gets burned or saved.

Thank you and God Bless you, unless you don't bid, then I will probably see you in hell.

Comments from my previous auction included vulgarity and threats. Please adhere to all eBay Regulations. If you have a question please ask. If you have a comment please refrain from threats or vulgarity.



THIS IS A REAL AUCTION FOR THE ASHES OF THE PLAQUE OF JESUS, IF MY RESERVE IS MET YOU CAN CHOOSE IF JESUS GETS SAVED



Thanks for looking, bid, and help save Jesus!







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On Jan-26-06 at 14:23:18 PST, seller added the following information:

The winner will be sent a video in .AVI on a CD of the burning. Request how you would like to see Jesus burn. Now YOU can be in control of how I do it! MUST INVOLVE FIRE!


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On Jan-26-06 at 19:45:45 PST, seller added the following information:

I decided to add a little mystery box style fun to this auction just to make it really weird. There will be bonuses. They will only be paid AFTER the auction is over AND the payment clears. The First Bidder to bid $400 gets One Hundred Dollars! The First Bidder to bid $900 gets Two Hundred Dollars! The First Bidder to bid $1300 gets Two Hundred and Fifty Dollars PLUS a Surprise Box, WITH GOLD INSIDE!!!!! The First Bidder to bid $1800 gets Three Hundred Dollars! PLUS a Surprise Box, WITH GOLD AND SILVER!! The First Bidder to bid $2700 gets four hundred dollars, free shipping if you win, a Surprise box WITH GOLD AND SILVER AND GEMS, AND A SPECIAL SURPRISE!!!! The First bidder to bid $5000 gets ONE THOUSEND DOLLARS!!! The First Bidder to bid $10,000 gets THREE THOUSEND DOLLARS AND A SPECIAL SURPRISE!!! GOOD LUCK BIDDING!!


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On Jan-27-06 at 12:23:58 PST, seller added the following information:

Chubbs13mtnbiker is our first bidding winner!!!! $100 just for placing a $400 bid!!!! Lets see if we can hit the next Prize Payout Level with a $900 bid!!!!! Thats $200 just for Bidding!!!!! There are alot of people watching this auction, and there is a rumor that a certain poker palace is looking at this! Make some easy money and BID NOW!!!!


eBay: Jesus for Ransom!!! Buy this, or I will burn it. (item 7384875341 end time Jan-30-06 14:01:08 PST)

I'm going to go grab a Biblical concordance and start searching for references to eBay. Obviously, it holds quite a great deal of importance for Christ.

Elvisette philosophized at 11:35 PM