Saturday, December 31, 2005
 

Where Have All the Blog Posts Gone, Long Time Passing?

I've been an internet recluse lately. And a general recluse. Guess it's the spirit of the season kicking in, but I never really want to leave my bedroom. I eat meals in bed, read in bed, hibernate in bed, and generally hide out there. Sometimes I shift the five feet over to the laptop here to order more mindless books to read, but that's about it, other than work.

I avoid social obligations as much as humanly possible. I just can't take it. I don't want people to look at me.

And I eat too much. And don't move enough.

Dragging myself to work-- to a job I actually *like*, unlike teaching-- is nearly impossible. But I'm trying to get full-time so that maybe, just maybe, I can have some claim to existence on this planet again, instead of your stereotypical mid-20s ex-grad student who moves back home, takes up too much room, and can't afford her own place. So if I want full time, I feel the need to overacheive.

I think it would be ideal if I could just be a robot. Someone could flip my "on" switch when I need to show up to work and be a nice chipper library lady and then flip me back "off" for every other waking minute.

The doctor is doing a medication change in Jan., after I get through the holidays. Maybe that will help . . . ? I'm so tired of dosages and this pill and that pill and this increase and that increase that I don't even know what to expect. All I know is that I'm afraid of the taper-off period that comes with changing meds. He said I could be put in the hospital to change the meds more quickly, but I have no health insurance and mixed feelings about that idea. I just want the switch to be done, and I want the new cocktail to work better than this one is right now.

My computer clock says it's 12:01 AM. On that note, Happy New Year.

Ha.

Elvisette philosophized at 11:51 PM