Tuesday, June 15, 2004
 

Getting Hitched Has Its Advantages

My neighbors are out of town for a few weeks, making it legal, with all the attendant hoopla. While they're gone, UPS is delivering their packages to me, which I then put in their townhouse (we have a fabulous UPS woman, so this has all been very easy to arrange).

So these monster-huge (but often extremely lightweight) packages from Crate and Barrel and Williams-Sonoma keep arriving, and I'm feelin' a little neglected here. Admittedly, Crate and Barrel isn't to my taste, and Williams-Sonoma is for people whose cooking skills go beyond the microwave and tea kettle (those two things, plus a toaster oven and coffee maker, round out my culinary supplies; I don't even use the stove, except to boil water). But it's the principle of the thing, man. Where are my presents?

I want to set up a single person gift registry (I think there was a Dilbert strip series about this very issue, sometime in the past years). My amazon.com wish list would suffice, surely. Maybe a few items from Sephora. And I'm sure I could find a thing or two here.

I mean, what else do I need [answer: more footwear]? Even if (god forbid) I were to marry, I don't need fine china. My Corelle will suffice (I dropped a bowl once, and it bounced-- now that's fine craftspersonship). Cooking . . . stuff? I've got two pots, a pan, a mini pasta drainer, and I'm set. Does my tea kettle count?

Bottom line: I need an excuse to get presents en masse, because I'm greedy and materialistic and shallow like that. Deal.

Elvisette philosophized at 1:06 PM