Tuesday, January 13, 2004
 

I stayed at home (Hicksville USA) too long over the break.

This yielded a traumatic experience today: I said "liberry." In public.

Please, someone shoot me.

I can't believe that slipped out. I do jokingly say (and type) "library" as "liberry" most of the time, because that's how most of the patrons and employees at my former place o' employment said it. But it came out of my mouth today, and in a most un-ironic way.

Eeeeeek.

So, needless to say, I'll be washing my mouth with soap (Tone) to cleanse myself of verbal impurities. In the academic world, bearing a Southern accent doesn't exactly earn respect. Mostly, I don't exhibit a pronounced (pardon the pun) accent, but today . . .

Moving on.

I bought my books for my classes this morning. While we're on that subject ($$$), I've got a kidney up for sale. Mainly used to process diet sodas. Best offer.

After all, I checked into selling plasma, and I don't meet several of the requirements, so I guess that's a no. Incidentally, one of the aforementioned former liberry coworkers paid for a Playstation II by donating plasma. Interesting fella.

I'm also on the local list for medical trials (paid) but have yet to be contacted. Hmmph.

On the good financial front, I scored a free (excuse me, "complimentary") manicure today. I chose a nice, sedate, neutral color of polish, which all the various fashion magazines state bespeaks authority. So that should be good for intimidating students on their first day tomorrow, I hope. I'm at the full 20 again, and I'd love to see that number drop some. That's a lot of papers.

But, back to the important matter (teaching? who needs teaching, when we can talk about beauty products?): I love getting things for free, so I'm crowing all over this. Yes, I know that no one cares, but little things like this make my itsy-bitsy brain, with its feeble chemicals, happy.

After I'm done radiating authority (or kidding myself into thinking that I'm commanding some sort of respect), I can switch back to my usual palette of reds and coppers. And Revlon.

I should probably go to bed or something.

Elvisette philosophized at 11:43 PM