Sunday, December 28, 2003
 

Well, time to say something substantial, huh? That'd be a Philosophy Slam first.

And I'm not in the mood to set a new standard for myself. Got your low performer status, right here.

First off: Believe it or not, I went to my high school reunion last night. I guess I was in that frame of mind, having attempted to help a friend (who needs to e-mail me with an alias for this oh-so-popular blog) find a dress for hers. Besides, my class was supposed to be one of the ones to show up last night. It was a bust: I spoke to but one person from my class, and that was in the parking lot, outside the (tremendously swanky, thus placing me highly out of my element) restaurant. We were always the class o' slackers in high school; guess nothing's changed. I only went to gawk; there were so many people I hated, and I was hoping to view them in some lowly and pathetic state. Of course, I'm a grad student, and they're yuppies-in-training. So maybe gloating wouldn't have been in order. Something tending more toward the self-righteous end of things, I suppose. Not that grad school is anything to be self-righteous about.

Moving on, before this gets too bitter.

Yesterday, I read the hometown newspaper, which never fails to be entertaining. Some of my favorite highlights:

From an article about seizure of video poker machines: "Sheriff's deputies uncovered 75 video poker machines from a [location] warehouse Monday, culminating [?] a weekend investigation."
It continues: "The seizure of the video poker machines, which were being stored in the warehouse [yes, I believe we established that in the first paragraph], was the most ever of inactive machines in the county."

From the crime briefs, which are all creatively titled:

Good Neighbor to have?
"Police accused a [location] man Tuesday of breaking into the home of one of his neighbors, a report at the [local Sheriff's Office] said." Not so entertaining on the surface, maybe, but this guy wasn't a good classmate to have, either. Ah, it's always nice to see my junior high affiliates in the news!

Title of article about a stolen Cadillac: Caddy Commandeered

Now, from today's paper (from the next county over; we only manage a three-times-weekly over here in Podunk):

These would be from page 2A of the Sunday edition, where one might expect to find, say, news or something. Copied in the precise order in which they appear in the paper:

Bah and/or humbug
When Christmas wasn't welcome:
1. American colonies-- banned Christmas (17th century)
2. England-- banned Christmas (late 1640s)
3. Scotland-- banned Christmas (1583)
4. Philadelphia-- banned Christmas Eve Carnival (1868)

LOTTERIES
Powerball: [numbers]
Pick 3 Midday: [numbers]
Pick 3 Evening: [numbers]
Pick 4 Midday: [numbers]
Pick 4 Evening: [numbers]

TRIVIA
1. Is the Book of 2 John in the Old or New Testament?
2. From Revelation 21, what perfectly square city is described as having walls made of jasper? New Damascus, Jericho, New Jerusalem, Philadelphia
3. Saint Luke said Jesus was about how old when he began to teach? 20, 20, 40, 50
4. In which book's 7:12 do we find the Golden Rule? Matthew, Mark, Luke, John
5. What were the clothes of John the Baptist made of? White linen, sheepskin, silk, camel hair
6. Which son of David was known for his good looks? Ibhar, Amnon, Nogah, Absalom

The local paper: Your one-stop source for Biblical / Christian history trivia and Powerball numbers.

Elvisette philosophized at 9:09 AM